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.Everyone surprised themselves, saying things they had never thought before, giving advice of the “I don’t know why I’m saying this” type, doing certain things that didn’t appear to make sense.And everyone liked to spend time observing nature’s miracles—a thunderstorm, a sunset—ready to enter into contact with the universal wisdom, think about things that were truly important.But at such times, the invisible wall would appear: the second mind.The second mind was there, barring the entrance, with its repetitive ideas, its unimportant problems, its melodies, its financial problems, its unresolved passions.He stood and approached Chris.“Be patient, and listen to everything your second mind has to say.Don’t respond.Don’t argue.It will get tired.”Once again, Chris went over the invitation list, even though she had already lost interest in it.When she finished, she put a period to it.And she opened her eyes.There she was, in that wound in the earth.She felt the still air that surrounded her.“Open the channel.Begin to speak.”Speak!She had always been fearful of speaking out, of seeming ridiculous, stupid.Fearful of learning what others thought of what she said, because they always seemed more capable, more intelligent.Always seemed to have an answer for everything.But now she was here, and she had to have the courage even to say things that made no sense, that were absurd.Paulo had explained that this was one way of channeling: speak.Conquer your second mind, and allow the universe to do what it wanted with it.She began to move her head back and forth, wanting to do all that, and suddenly she wanted to make strange noises.And she did so.It wasn’t ridiculous.She was free to do as she pleased.She had no idea where these things came from—but they were coming from within, from the bottom of her soul, and manifesting themselves.From time to time, her second mind returned with its concerns, and Chris tried to organize them, but that’s the way it had to be—no logic, no censure, but rather the joy of a warrior entering into an unknown world.She needed to speak the pure language of the heart.Paulo listened in silence, and Chris felt his presence.She was totally aware, but free.She could not concern herself with what he was thinking—she had to continue to speak, making the gestures that came to her, singing the strange melodies.Yes, everything must make some kind of sense, because she had never heard these sounds before, these melodies, these words and movements.It was difficult, and she had the fear that she was fantasizing things, wanting to appear to be more in contact with the Invisible than she really was.But she overcame her fear of the ridiculous, and went on.Today, something different was happening.She was no longer doing what she did out of obligation, as in the first days.She was enjoying herself.And she began to feel secure.A wave of security washed back and forth, and Chris tried desperately to go with it.In order to keep the wave close to her, she had to speak.Say anything that came to mind.“I see the earth.” Her voice was hesitant, calm, even though her second mind made an appearance from time to time, saying that Paulo must be finding all of this ridiculous.“We are in a safe place, we can stay here tonight, lie here and look up at the stars and talk of angels.There are no scorpions, no snakes, no coyotes.“The planet set aside certain places for itself.It tells us to go away.In those places, without the millions of life forms that walk on its surface, the earth is able to be alone.She also needs her solitude, for she needs to understand herself.”Why am I saying that? He’s going to think I’m showing off.I’m aware!Paulo looked around.The dry bed of the river seemed gentle, smooth.But it inspired a terror of total solitude, of the complete absence of life.“Say a prayer,” Chris went on.Her second mind was no longer able to make her feel ridiculous.But suddenly, she felt fear.Fear of not knowing which prayer, of not knowing how to continue.And when she felt the fear, her second mind returned—and the ridicule, the shame, the concern about Paulo returned with it.After all, he was the Magus—he knew more than she, and must think all of this was phony.She took a deep breath.She concentrated on the present, on the earth where nothing grew, on the sun that was already hidden.Bit by bit, the wave of security came back—like a miracle.“Say a prayer,” she repeated.And it is going to echoclearlyagainst the skywhen I come alongmaking my noiseShe sat there in silence for a while, sensing that she had given her all, and that the channeling had ended.Then she turned to him.“I went very far today.It’s never happened that way.”Paulo caressed her face and kissed her.She didn’t know whether he was doing that out of pity or pride.“Let’s go,” he said.“Let’s respect the earth’s desire.”“Maybe he is saying that to give me a stimulus, to get me to try to continue channeling,” she thought.But she was certain—something had happened.She hadn’t invented all that.“The prayer?” she asked, fearful of his answer.“It’s an ancient indigenous chant.From the Ojibway shamans.”She was proud of her husband’s knowledge, even though he said it didn’t count for much.“How can these things happen?”Paulo remembered J., discussing in his book the secrets of alchemy: “The clouds are rivers that already know the sea.” But he wasn’t inclined to explain.He was feeling tense, irritable, and didn’t know exactly why he was staying on in the desert; after all, he already knew how to converse with his guardian angel.Chapter 20“DID YOU SEE THE FILM PSYCHO?” PAULO asked Chris when they arrived back at the car.Chris nodded her head.“The lead actress dies in the bathroom early on in the film.In the desert, I learned how one converses with the angels by the third day.Meanwhile, I promised myself that I would spend forty days here, and now I can’t change my mind.”“Well, there’s still the Valkyries.”“The Valkyries! I can live without them!”He’s afraid that he won’t succeed in finding them, Chris thought.“I already know how to converse with the angels, and that’s what’s important.” Paulo’s tone of voice was hostile.“I’ve been thinking about that,” Chris answered.“You already know, but you don’t want to try.”That’s my problem, Paulo said to himself as he started the car.I need some strong emotions.I need a challenge.He looked over at Chris.She was busy reading The Desert Survival Manual they had bought in one of the towns they had passed through.They drove off through yet another of the immense desert flats that seemed to have no end
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