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.“Oh, it’s alright Fee.You can leave us now.”Ben could see that Fiona didn’t like that, but she had no choice but to do as she was told.She left the room noiselessly, leaving the door ever so slightly ajar.“I’m sure you know what this is about.” Jonathan began.The others nodded.“As I’m sure you do, Benjamin?”Ben sighed.Shook his head.Not in denial, exactly.Just waiting for the storm to break.Jonathan laid a patient’s file down in front of Ben.Layla Gilbert.His patient, Layla Gilbert.Ben looked at it, lying there on the desk.There was a long silence.The other two doctors stood, uneasily, over by the wall.Ravi folded his arms.Jonathan began.“Is Layla Gilbert your personal crisis?”Ben couldn’t answer.He just stared at Layla’s file.Ravi came forward and spoke to Ben.“You can’t deny it.She was the girl you took to the Charity dinner, right? I met her.I shook her hand.”Ben looked up, confused.“I know.But I asked her to change doctor, before we got involved.”“No, you didn’t.” Jonathan tapped the name into his own computer, and then swung the screen round so that Ben could see for himself.“Look.Patient’s name: Layla Gilbert.General Practitioner: Benjamin Stein.”Ben paused, and stared.He couldn’t quite take it in.“I don’t understand.She transferred.She requested another doctor.I asked her to.”Ravi sighed.“She’s registered as one of your patients, Ben.”“She can’t be.I saw her sign the paperwork.I dropped off the form here myself.”“There isn’t any paperwork.There’s nothing in the file about changing to another doctor.Not that you could get out of this as easily as that.The General Medical Council takes a dim view of situations like these.Even former patients are off limits in most cases.And she’s listed here, and here, as your current patient, Ben.”Ben stared in disbelief at the file.“Christ.”Jonathan, the senior doctor spoke.“According to her file you’ve seen her twice, here at the clinic.Presumably, you’ve seen a quite a bit more of her, off the premises, is that right?”That rankled.It had begun.The innuendo.The accusations.The recriminations.The laughter in the corridors.The letter from the medical council… Ben rose to his feet.“I haven’t got time for this.”“Sit down!” Jonathan barked.“You’ll have to make time.For me.For the GMC, and for a disciplinary hearing.”“I haven’t done anything wrong.”Jonathan gave Ben a hostile stare.“Why is there no trace of this form? And do you imagine, even if we found it, that you’d be off the hook?”Ben was in agony now.“Look.I don’t expect you to understand my relationship with Layla, but−”“Relationship? Relationship? There can be no equal relationship born in the surgery or consulting room.It’s exploitative, unethical, and wrong.”“I’m not exploiting her.I’m in love with her.And there’s nothing wrong with falling in love.”“Oh, God, Ben.That’s what they all say.The middle-aged psychiatrists and the university doctors with wives and kids waiting at home.They all claim to have been in love.That’s a pathetic defence.”“I don’t care what you think.”“You will care.At the tribunal.You took advantage of a young and vulnerable patient.And she’ll say it too when the affair’s over.That’s what always happens when it ends.The whole sorry thing gets dragged through disciplinary hearings and into the morning papers.And everyone has a good laugh at Doctor Idiot who swears blind that it was consensual and he really, really loved her.Unless he’s fool enough to pretend his stethoscope slipped and she misconstrued his intentions.Benjamin! What the hell were you thinking?”That I’d rather lose my career than lose the chance to be with her.Ben didn’t say it, though.He stood there, like he was back at prep school in the headmaster’s study.And if caning was still legal.He’d be getting it.Jonathan sighed.“This is a prime example of how transference can occur in a primary care setting.” He glanced around at his colleagues to make sure they knew he was exuding superior wisdom now.“Wouldn’t you agree?”“Transference?” said Ben.“What the fuck?”“Ben, you were a brilliant scholar.You must have come across transference before.The poor girl thinks you’re God and Daddy and James Bond all rolled into one.Confuses you with every other authority figure in her life.And of course, she’s too young and naïve to know what’s really going on.And when she finds out you’re just a man – a pathetic, mixed-up excuse for a man who doesn’t have a clue how to solve any of her problems, then what do you think is going to happen? It’ll turn sour and the dream will be over.Wake up, Ben.You’re acting like a fool.”And somehow, that was the thing that caused Ben to lose it, completely – hearing Jonathan insulting his own and Layla’s intelligence.Like everyone did.He rounded on him, savagely.“You slander her.She understands things that you’ll never understand.She’s an intelligent girl and she knows I’m a flesh and blood man with plenty of flaws – some of them likely to be fatal.But she is the only woman I’ve ever met who has accepted me, flaws and all.And maybe she doesn’t know what the fuck transference is – I’m not sure I do – but who cares? It’s nothing but a cock-and-bull idea that’s floated around for a hundred years since Freud came up with it in a haze of cigar smoke in Vienna.I will not have the ghost of Dr Freud telling me that the girl I love can’t tell the difference between me and her father.Christ, Jonathan.You haven’t met Layla.If she was here now she’d tell you what to do with your manky old psycho-babble!”And Jonathan sat there in his chair with his mouth open like a goldfish.So Ben didn’t stop.He let rip, in a voice loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear.“We flatter ourselves that our female patients think we’re Gods.They’re smarter than that, Jonathan.They know what we are.We’re just ordinary men.Set in our ways.Predictable in our passions.And full of self-important shit about our place in the world as doctors.We’re not holy healers, Jonathan.We’re just men.Some of us are good men, some of the time.And some of us are not.It’s a standing joke that we make bad husbands, inattentive fathers and we’re usually too damn tired to fuck.” He looked at Jonathan, savagely.“Don’t you think your wife would agree with me?”Jonathan blanched.“Have you been talking to my wife, you son of a−”“No, Jonathan.I have not been talking to your wife,” Ben yelled.“I’ve been far too busy trying to get Layla to sleep with me!”The door of Jonathan’s consulting room was standing ajar.Sally and Fiona were outside in the corridor, practically wetting themselves.They stood, staring at each other, wanting to hear this – and worried that the patients in the waiting room were listening too.Fiona turned her head and peered through the archway and into the waiting room – you could have heard a pin drop out there today.Thirty-eight people – attentive as would-be astronauts before the selection committee.Sally covered her mouth with her hand.Ben needed to get out of the clinic and find out what had happened to Layla.“I’m not listening to any more of your bullshit, Jonathan.I’ve got work to do.”“Not here.You’re on leave – as of today.”“Good.I need every second of my time, to look for Layla.She’s been kidnapped.”“Kidnapped?” Jonathan repeated.“Kidnapped?”But there was no time to explain that now.Ben stormed out of the meeting [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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