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.Two or three days later, he came out with it.He was in love.More than that, this was the love of his life, this was his spirit-companion, his soul-mate, for ever and ever, the greatest thing that had ever happened, he never imagined it was possible to feel this way.And so on and so on.He was wild with joy, too wild.When I realised who he’d fallen for, I tried to get him to slow down, to talk it through in an atmosphere of calm.But he was beyond all that.He was … gone.It was a terrible time, the next two weeks - the sense of things running out of control.When I phoned, he wasn’t always there, I couldn’t be sure of what was happening.And when we did talk, he was full of how they were going to set up home together, how they were going to live in a cottage up in the hills, how they were going to be happy for ever and ever.I asked what they were going to live on, but of course he didn’t want to think about that.In fact he laughed.He never worried about money.He’d worked for a few months in a delicatessen, he’d find something else till he got his exhibition together.’Sarah’s expression tautened, her voice as well.‘Then one day I got Jenna on the phone.I said how amazing it was that she and Sam were together, or something like that, and there was this definite pause, I mean a pause that gave the whole game away.She said something sort of patronising, like what a lovely person Sam was, and how wonderful it was to have him there.And I knew immediately she was stringing him along, she was making a fool of him.I asked her then if the relationship was serious on her, part, but she skirted round that one, she wouldn’t give me a straight answer, and I was horrified, terrified, because I knew Sam had gone completely overboard for this woman, that he trusted and adored her, that it’d be disaster if things went wrong.I tried to explain to her, I tried to spell it out, the awful danger, but she went cold on me, basically said there was nothing to discuss.I tried to argue with her, I tried to make her understand that she had this absolutely huge responsibility, that she must be extremely careful what she did and said to Sam.But she put the phone down on me.I couldn’t believe it.She just put it down! The absolute b—’ She corrected this to: ‘Cow.’‘She denied any relationship with Sam?’Sarah shot him a frown as if he’d understood nothing at all.‘She was denying everything.Everything.’ She took a steadying breath.‘So … I tried to talk to Sam, I tried to make him realise, but he just laughed, he said it was all okay, not to worry so much.It was the first time in his life he hadn’t listened to me, the first time he hadn’t trusted my judgement.I wanted to go up there and see him straight away, but I had a ton of work to do.I couldn’t get away till early Saturday - three days later.’ Sarah faltered.‘Then on the Friday night—’ She turned her head away, it was a moment before she managed to speak, and then in a hoarse whisper.‘There was a message from Sam.He said … he said he loved me and he was sorry.I knew immediately.His voice - it was so absolutely empty.I knew he was already dead.’She drew a terse breath.‘I told the police everything about Jenna, but they didn’t want to know.To them Sam was just another statistic, a depressive who’d killed himself.They weren’t interested in responsibility.The inquest was the same.The coroner listened but took no notice.I knew then that I wasn’t going to get any recourse from the law, and oddly enough it was a kind of freedom, knowing it was going to be left to me, knowing I had no choice.Oh, I never had the slightest doubt about it,’ she argued suddenly, as if he’d challenged her on the point.‘Not the slightest.It was nothing less than manslaughter, you see.Why should she be allowed to continue her life as if nothing had happened? Why should she be allowed to get away with it? I wanted her to acknowledge her guilt, I wanted her to suffer, I wanted her to pay.’‘You wrote the anonymous letters?’‘Yes,’ she agreed bluntly.‘Two of them.’‘You threatened her?’‘By any other name - yes.I said she’d never be safe, I said she’d be tracked down wherever she went, I said she’d be made to pay.For a while I thought that it would be enough knowing she’d got the letters, knowing they’d be on her mind the whole time, knowing she’d always be looking over her shoulder.But it wasn’t enough, nothing could be enough.She had killed Sam, she had killed someone unbelievably special, for no good reason than her own repulsive ego.I decided I was going to confront her.Well, no, it was more than that - I was going to make her confess, on paper, so it’d be there for everyone to see.’ At this, Sarah pitched forward and clutched the edge of her seat, her knuckles white, as though the accumulated memories were threatening to unbalance her.Joe said, ‘Once you got the address of the phone box Jenna called me from, how did you track her down?’Sarah straightened up again and sank slowly back against the seat.‘Oh, I went up there armed with a photograph.I copied it from one of yours, I’m afraid.I snooped around your flat.’ She shrugged.‘There was nothing I wouldn’t do, you see.I loved Sam more than my life.I loved him as if he were my own child.’A fresh rustling sounded deep in the grass, and Joe watched a blackbird emerge onto the path and run over to a greenhouse, which was so full of bolting plants that it looked like a crowded tube train, all the backs pressed against the doors.He said, ‘You found someone who recognised her?’‘In Llandrindod Wells.The garage where she bought her petrol.They told me she lived somewhere up Nant Garth valley.’‘And you found her?’Sarah nodded.‘I watched for her in the valley and followed her up to the log cabin.I went there again the next weekend, and the next, trying to work out how to get her alone.They had this routine.Chetwood took the dog for a walk in the morning while Jenna took the pony for a ride
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