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.“The demands placed on young associates here are 31extraordinary,” he said.“I’m afraid a lot of early marriages break up 32as a result.Madeleine didn’t talk much about her ex-husband.But 33from what I understand it was the usual reasons.He wanted her to ort 34work less.They fought.Things went downhill from there.”reg 359858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 91E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H9 1“And you took up with Ms.Waters before or after her divorce?”1“It may have been before the actual divorce.But the marriage 2was already over.”3“Did they stay in touch, Ms.Waters and her ex-husband?”4“No.At least not that I know of.”5“You have any idea who Ms.Waters’s beneficiaries are? Who 6stands to inherit?”7“Not offhand,” Mills said.“But a copy of her will is probably on 8file with our Trusts and Estates Department.They generally handle 9that sort of thing for partners.”10There was a buzz on Mills’s phone.He punched on the speaker-11phone.12“Carmen Rodriguez is here.”13Mills gave Glaser an inquiring look.14“Great,” Glaser said.“We’re ready to talk to her now.”15w169:03 a.m.Kate huddled over her second cup of sludgy Samson & 17Mills coffee — the East Coast’s answer to Exxon Valdez — punch-18ing in Andrea’s extension for what felt like the hundredth time.As 19the phone rang, Kate rested her chin in her hand, and closed her 20eyes.Andrea was an early riser, usually at her desk by eight.What 21could be keeping her? The voice mail recording had just engaged —22“I’m sorry, the person that you’re calling, Andrea Lee, is not avail-23able” — when Kate heard footsteps outside her office.The door flew 24open and Andrea herself appeared, still wrapped in her winter coat.25“Jesus Christ, Kate, did you hear?” Andrea asked breathlessly.Her 26usual poise was gone.She wore the same expression of disbelieving 27shock as every other Samson employee Kate had seen that morning.28“Where have you been? ” Kate asked.She could hear the sharp-29ness in her voice.“I’ve been trying to call you since last night.”30Shaking her head, Andrea collapsed into one of two chairs fac-31ing Kate’s desk and pulled off her coat.When she spoke, her voice 32was shaky.“I was feeling a little sick when I got home last night, 33like I was coming down with something, and I.I decided to turn 34 sh35 re9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 929 2A M Y G U T M A N1in early.Brent’s out of town on business.In Chicago.After I talked 2to him, I just unplugged the phone.I didn’t know a thing until I 3turned on the radio this morning.”4“Some night you picked to go AWOL.” As the words emerged, 5Kate realized that she’d been scared.Scared that the same name-6less, faceless menace that had so abruptly ended Madeleine’s life 7had somehow caught up with Andrea, too.8“Has there been any statement from the firm yet?” Andrea 9asked, her voice subdued.“I haven’t been to my office.”10Kate picked up a single sheet of paper from her desk.“This was 11in my box when I got in this morning.A memo from Carter Mills.12It doesn’t say a whole lot.The firm regrets the tragic death of 13Madeleine Waters, extends its sympathy to her family.Refer any 14media inquiries to Carter Mills.Yada, yada, yada.”15“Can I see?”16Kate passed her the sheet.Andrea skimmed the memo’s two 17short paragraphs, then handed it back without comment.18“Do they know any of the details?” Andrea asked after a brief 19hesitation.20Kate looked up at her, surprised.“Didn’t you see the morning 21papers?”22Andrea shook her head.Wordlessly, Kate reached for her brief-23case.She pulled out the folded stack of papers and passed them 24across her desk.As Andrea read the headlines, her eyes widened.25“My God,” she said softly.“How awful.” Moments later she roughly 26pushed the papers back toward Kate.“I’ve read enough for now,”27she said.28The two friends sat for a time in silence.29“I really can’t take this in,” Andrea said finally.“This just isn’t 30the sort of thing that happens to a lawyer at Samson & Mills.I 31mean, I guess that sounds stupid.It’s not like we have immunity or 32something.But, somehow, the randomness.I feel like I’ve been 33living in a dream world.”ort 34“How’s that?”reg 35“Well.,” Andrea seemed to be searching for words.“It’s like 9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 93E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H9 3any time disaster strikes a little too close for comfort — the World 1Trade Center bombing, someone shot on a subway line that I take 2all the time — I’ve always found some way to convince myself that 3it could never happen to me.I do it almost without thinking.I say 4to myself, ‘Okay, so I take the R train, but I never take it at that time 5of day.’ Or, ‘So I interviewed with a law firm that has offices in the 6World Trade Center, but I never really considered going there.’ See 7what I mean?”8Kate shrugged uneasily.I’ll just take more taxis.It could never hap-9pen to me.“I think we all do that,” she said.“It’s sort of a survival 10mechanism.Who could function if they constantly focused on 11what could go wrong? It’s like flying in planes.You just have to 12count on the law of averages.”13“And you hate to fly,” Andrea noted wryly.14“True.But I still do it.Maybe that’s what separates the clinically 15paranoid from the rest of us.That we can choose to ignore stuff, to 16make decisions based on the odds.I guess that’s what they call per-17spective.Or sanity.”18“Maybe you’re right.Still, something like this.” Again, An-19drea’s voice trailed off.20Kate found her thoughts returning to that final meeting with 21Madeleine.And then the terrible scene described in the morning’s 22papers.23The phone rang.Kate looked down at the LCD screen, then 24back to Andrea.“Carter Mills’s office,” she whispered.25Andrea rose as Kate picked up the receiver.“Talk to you later,”26Andrea mouthed, gently closing the door behind her.27“Ms
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